Monday, April 19, 2010
Warning! Vulnerable and Personal Post Ahead....
Let me describe myself to you in a worldly sort of way. 5'2", hazel eyes, greying brown short hair, 30s, pudgy belly, thighs and tail end (3 kids will do that to you, plus dessert!), and not exactly endowed by my Creator (if you know what I mean). Each day, I wrestle with that description of myself with twinges of guilt plaguing me throughout my day. I used to not have a belly like this. Guilt. I should be exercising so I don't have this belly. Guilt. My husband deserves better than this. Guilt. I can't turn back the clock and look younger. Guilt. I SO do not want to attempt to try on my summer clothes, let alone that bathing suit. Guilt.
Now, I acknowledge that a lot of this is engrained in myself through self talk, etc. A lot of it is reenforced through what is all around me. Gorgeous women who look younger than I do even though they aren't. Photoshopped women all around and an audience who thinks it's wonderful and the way it should be. I never really thought about it much until I realized that my body wasn't going to go back to "normal" after I had my third baby.
The mentality of expected and desired perfection is what drives the sex industry. Women in prostitution are treated as objects, if not worse and are expected to perform and look a certain way. At a certain age they are no longer marketable and are sadly disposed of in a variety of ways. I don't believe you can engage in "purchasing women" and still consider who they truly are.
Let's consider the women we are supporting through DFC. How would we describe them? Here was my description prior to this business - cheap, dirty, gross, heartless, lazy, criminals. How could I have allowed myself to think that way? How couldn't I consider why they were engaging in prostitution?
1. I'm human. 2. I follow stereotypes. 3. I didn't know forced prostitution existed. I thought it was just prostitution. (not that that really changes things)
Here's my new description. Prostitutions are mothers, daughters, sisters, women with hidden talents, dreams and hopes, women who are trapped longing for a way out, women who want hope.
Let's consider the real description of me. Mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend, hard working, anxious, at times obsessive compulsive, impulsive and big lover of my mom's excellent homemade strawberry jelly and Back to the Future. For some reason my children think I'm the greatest (they're still little though) and my husband treats me like I'm beautiful and like those magazine covers don't even exist. For those things, I am so grateful.
Delicate Fortress Creations emphasizes women who have survived from terrible circumstances. You don't have to be in situations like forced prostitution, slavery or poverty to be a delicate fortress. You can be a woman who has survived anything - grief, abuse, hardship. I bet you're a delicate fortress too. Do you describe yourself that way?
Join me in supporting these beautiful women looking for hope. Join me in changing our description of ourselves.
Labels: personal thoughts